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      I had made a promise to myself, I was going to stay free and noncommittal for as long as possible. At times, I was lonely, but my career and savings account were paramount. Most of my friends had already found “the loves of their lives”, and on many occasions I would go out with them. They would look so good together “a perfect fit”, they were seldom lonely and they were happy. My family would even inquired, hinting that they would like a new addition to the family. I would catch my dad giving me a strange, somewhat disappointed look occasionally. I was going to hold firm, I was not going to fold like a “cheap lawn chair”.


      Oh certainly, I would “window shop”. If it was meant to happen, it would happen. Then one day I saw her, she took my breath away! I didn’t know if I had a chance, I am an average man and she was exquisite, she would be the envy of all my friends. Somehow, some way, through courting and visiting often, she was mine! I was the proudest man in the world.


      I had made the big “commitment”. I didn’t care, I loved her and wanted her forever. We went everywhere, she was so beautiful, even strangers would cock their heads and say remarks under their breath. I decided that I never wanted to lose her and gave her my heart and soul.


      A year had gone by, she was still pretty, but now I realized there was a price to pay. With this, comes the “high maintenance” and it was costly. Every relationship has their “honeymoon phase” and I began to feel mine dwindle. No matter how hard I tried to look past it, she did not look as good as when I first laid eyes on her. Her health was declining and it was my responsibility to take care of her.

I had always considered myself a good man of high esteem. I found myself drawn to “these websites”, I felt dirty, morally bankrupt, but I could not stay away. I knew I had hit rock bottom when I heard about these clubs, clubs where I could pay money and use these objects of beauty as much as I wanted. It took all of my willpower, but I stayed away.


      My love was gone, it was hard for me to even look at her. I actually made a point of ignoring her. I knew deep in my heart that this was not fair. She had treated me well and I couldn’t string her along. If I let her go now, she was young enough that she would find another. The day came, the relationship was over! Now I am free, free to browse any website I like, free to go to those “sketchy” clubs and do anything I want.


      Maybe someday, I will find another relationship, a newer “model”, of course. But for now, I am happy……………..wait, what was that? Did you see her? Man, is she beautiful!


Published by Coastal Angler Magazine November 6 2015

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